Today, I am Tired.

Today, friends, I am exhausted. Not physically. Just tired of the day in and day outs. Now, bear with me...I realize that I am so very blessed (beyond what I deserve because of God's grace.) I am just admitting I am desperate for Him, because all of this would be insurmountable without Him. It's brutal honesty...and, just where I am at today. Do you ever have a day where you feel so tired and long for the return of Christ? Today, I am there.

I am tired of baking for my kids and they won't eat it.
I am tired of watching the SAME kids movies a hundred times a day.
I am tired of Veggie Tales CD's.
I am tired of trying to go to the bathroom or take a shower and not being able to do it alone.
I am tired of picking up the same toys 9 million times a day.
I am tired of the Army telling me that they still don't know when my husband leaves for training even though it could be less than 9 days away.
I am tired of people asking me when Tim deploys and where he is going. I have no idea. Who knows when we will know?
I am tired of this winter and all the sickness.
I am tired of car repairs.
I am tired of trying to balance the checkbook.
I am tired of cleaning out the guinea pig cage and having to do it again 5 minutes later.
I am tired of not feeling good enough at anything.
I am tired of feeling not qualified for work because I do not have a bachelor's degree.
I am tired of fighting my weight battle.
I am tired of starting something (IE: couch to 5K) and then someone getting sick.
I am tired of starting something and putting my life into it (IE: The FRG) and then getting moved to a new Company.
I am tired of having to go to the ER because Tricare won't pay for Urgent Care without a referral.
I am tired of not knowing when my husband will be home from work.
I am tired of waking up in the morning to demands for milk and breakfast before I can even get a diaper changed.
I am tired of not bringing an income home.

I am tired of feeling like if I want my husband in a safe job, that isn't supporting the Army Mission.
I am tired of pretending like I have it all together.
I am tired of having family drama, breaks in relationships, gossip, etc...
I am tired.

I am so so tired, Lord. I need some refreshing. Please Lord, send me Your peace.